A conversation that starts out as "I know this will make me sound jealous but..." is never good. Yup! The green eyed monster is rearing its ugly head in the life of Miss Maditude.
The other day we went to grocery store and in the dairy aisle she starts out a conversation with that phrase. "Mom, I know this will make me sound jealous but why is it that every time I answer the phone people ask me... "Oh Maddie how is your little brother Jacob or how do you like him?". "Why can't they just ask me how I am why does it always have to be about him?". As you can imagine this comment pretty much blew Maddie's "Oh I'm not jealous" front right out of the water.
Maddie is the only child that has been a constant presence in either my family or Jeff's. Due to this fact, I knew that our newest addition would pretty much rock her world regardless of how much we talked to her about Jake joining our family or how much we set aside time for her as an individual. I have spent many hours prior to Jake's arrival explaining to Maddie that babies are new and exciting for people and that she might feel left out or jealous but everyone loves her and we haven't forgotten about her. I have also explained that Mom has to take care of the new baby and needs her help but that doesn't mean we won't go do fun things together just the two of us. Well, she has been quite the trooper and won't display out right tantrums (not in her nature) but I have noticed a shift in her attitude and her performance in school not to mention the cues and conversations in everyday life.
To soften the blow this adjustment has caused to our only child of nine (yes count them nine) years I have taken Maddie to the movies, went to get Mommy and Daughter mani's and pedis, started a Mother Daughter book club where we read a book together switching off at each chapter. I try to keep her normal schedule making sure she is responsible for her regular chores so as not to overcompensate for our adjustment. We have regular conversations and I make sure to give her the time she needs by herself to adjust and just be.
As I know she loves her little brother Maddie has her good days and her bad days. Sometimes she feels like Jake gets everything and other days she is the typical nine year old that wants to sit in her room watching tv, talking on the phone, singing on her Karaoke machine, playing outside with her friends or writing a song. As parents, Jeff and I need to be mindful of her subtle cues and needs for attention as it is easy to get caught up with Jake since Maddie is in that transition age where she still is a little girl but is starting to pull away as she enters those tween years.
Keep us in your prayers....These are exciting times of change!
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